Tuesday, 20 November 2012

Love, Sex and Relationships!!

I'm in my mid twenties and living in an age of "know it all". Yes, these days all of us think we know it all. Yet, we always seem so confused about Love, Sex and Relationships!!

We are no more in the era of Does he/Does he not?? Remember playing with flower petals rather breaking petals. :) Now to quote something I read somewhere - "These days people say I love you like Hello!" we are living in a fast track world. Love on the first day, probably then sex, then relationship (if required) and then the break-off, little bit of crying, a lot of boozing, bitching on social networking sites and we are good to go back in the market. You can add and delete things in this list as per your convenience but the pattern remains the same.

I have been a teacher cum trainer and often have received mails/texts/calls and as a matter of fact even personal visits from my distressed students. It takes all my energy to present them with the heart breaking truth that I ain't any Love guru :) and there is possibly no solution to your problems outside you. Look inside for the answers and face them. Don't run away.. We are living in the age of transactions and not just one or two but a lot of them. We have choices to spoil us. We are practical yet emotional. We prefer American sit-coms over Indian channels. We have never heard of the word Patience. We are rebellious and often not even understanding what exactly are we rebelling against and why? 

In a discussion with a couple of friends few days back, we were talking about relationships. To be precise, love relations. At some point in our conversation a friend of mine stated that “why don't we start treating our love-lives/love relations like our relation with our parents”. I mean with parents we don't really have a choice, we have our egos and problems, there are misunderstandings and fights yet parents remain parents. We don't start looking for new ones or give up on our folks. "I've had it with you, we are breaking off" - these are hardly the words exchanged between children and parents. We may not speak to them for some hours or some days. In very extreme cases maybe months and years but we don't give up on each other. There are generation gaps, gender gaps but we try to find a middle path. "Okay let me go to a party and I’ll be back by midnight" - Right? 

Our generation is born stressed. There is education, career, ambitions and passions, cut throat competition, peer pressure, office politics and a constant urge to keep up with new technology, latest fashion and unlimited dreams. Competition is everywhere and it's crazy.... From getting 99.25 to 99.50 - it's a matter of life and death. Then from finding jobs to doing anything and everything to keep the job and it doesn't even matter if you even like your job or you don't. You have EMI's and credit card bills to pay. No choice... Then there is a societal pressure to marry and reproduce to prove that you functioning and normal. There are relations where people sleep in the same room and share the same bed and yet don't talk because we are so caught up in our own lives. We only complain that "you don't understand" while hardly trying to understand the other person. 

We all go through phases of pain, betrayal, anger, disillusion and confusion. Don't give up on your dreams, don't give up on love and don't give up on people. If people are good, they also have shades of black and it's perfectly normal. Accept it. We all come in shades of black and white. I maybe a thief to you but I may have a family to support is a common example (we have heard it a zillion times), let me give you a more realistic example. Extra marital affairs and cheating in relations is not always characteristics of bad people but we are humans and have our own short-comings, we make mistakes. Solution? None, there is no solution. Just mere acceptance of facts. If you are capable of forgiving, you forgive if not then you don't - and this is also acceptance. To accept that I can't forgive but then just live with this fact don't go searching for solutions and answers. You will find none. 

So basically why am I writing this blog? To vent out, to complain? No. I'm sharing a part of me with you, we may not be on the same page in life but we are in the same book. You and me - two characters in a story who may or may not have met. We may not exactly understand each other but there are sentences in my blog which have made you nod in agreement and that is what binds us. 

1 comment:

  1. A very interesting blog shruti. Yes we all are going through this trial and tribulation in life,but at least we can guide maybe our future generations to understand it and in that journey understand the notions ourself. I came across this interesting documentary that I would suggest you also see. The documentary is called "Love in India -An Award-Winning Documentary Film". I am posting the link from where you can download the movie . Hope this helps you out . Cheers.
    LINK - http://turbobit.net/onrkq1g900o8.html

    ReplyDelete

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